In Shaunti Feldhahn’s book For Women Only, I read an astounding statistic. Three out of four men would prefer to feel unloved than disrespected or inadequate. What an eye opener! She goes on to reveal that if a man feels disrespected, he is going to feel unloved. As women we must learn to love our men the way they need to be loved and not how we wanted to be loved. Even the bible instructs husbands to love their wives and for wives to respect their husband. The greatest way for you to show your man that you love him is to ensure he feels your respect above all else.
Ladies, we have to learn to show our men unconditional respect. Respect him for who he is and not for just what he does. Don’t be controlling when are controlling you are disrespecting and dishonoring your man. Your controlling actions communicate you do not believe in ability to lead and make decisions. Saying you respect him is not enough. You got to show it. Respect his opinion, decisions and knowledge. Stop question them. Defer to him sometimes. Demonstrate you respect him by calling on his knowledge and asking for his advice. Let him figure things out for himself. Don’t ever tell him to ask for directions. You must demonstrate you trust him in the small things or he will never believe you trust him with the big things.
Publicly demonstrate that you respect him. Affirming him by telling him how well he did something. Say something like “Eric is great at figuring out what is wrong with your car. He knows just about everything there is to know about fixing cars.” Your show of respect not only lifts him up it lifts you both up.
Be careful not to nag as this is also disrespectful to your man. It communicates that he needs constant reminders and you don’t trust him to get it done. Inherent in our nagging is communication of disappointment and failure. Definitely do no not nag or criticize in public even in jest or teasing manner. Always have is back in public and affirm him.
Showing admiration and affirm your man is critical to his self-esteem. Admiration is a great motivator for men. When you tell him you think he is wonderful, it will inspire him to achieve more. That encouragement and inspiration helps him to believe in himself and walk with confidence as he faces challenges and responsibilities in his life. Admiration also energizes him. A man expects his woman to be his biggest fan and cheerleader. He will achieve far more with your encouragement.
The Wife Coach
