Last week we talked about some of the things that are more of a priority that your husband and your marriage. The first three were your kids, job, and home. Let’s take a look at three others.

Activities/Hobbies

You say hobbies really? Who puts hobbies before their spouse? Men are particularly guilty of this. Watching football, fishing, video games, the gym and playing golf become their number one focus after work. Women put church activities before their husband. They are running from one church activity to another while their husband is being neglected. Or what about hanging or shopping with your girlfriends. You watching your favorite show in the bedroom while he watches his shows in the basement. You reading a book while he is on the computer is not quality time. There is no real connection. You ride in the car together for 45 minutes and don’t really say a word to one other is not quality tie either. A healthy marriage requires conversation where personal things are shared, eye contact and your full attention.

Pets

Don’t laugh. Yes, I said pets. Many couples today are deciding not to have kids but they do have pets. Their pets are their kids. When you come home do you show more affection to your dog than your husband? You hug and rub on your dog but what about your husband? You come home from work and tell your dog – “How’s mommy’s baby? I missed you!” You don’t even hug or kiss your husband and speak any loving words to him. Does the dog walked and fed before your husband? When a pet gets more time, attention, affection and communication than your husband then something is very wrong!

Family/Friends

Do you continue to hang out and schedule regular time with your single girlfriends and your family? When you add up your time do you spend more time with friends and family than you spend alone time with your husband? A woman spends, on average, an hour and a half on the phone with friends and family or on watching television each night. While she is doing this her husband is on the computer or watching TV separately from her. A woman never really breaks away from her beloved dad. She relies on him for wisdom and guidance rather than her husband. Her husband wants to be the leader and for them to make decisions together. What about couple time? Do you spend more time with other couples or groups than you do alone? Are you having trouble finding things to talking about when it is just you two? Do you find it more enjoyable and comfortable to be with friends?

When we put things before our spouse we are robbing our marriage of intimacy and passion. When you husband is not the top priority and let other things become important you will have a breakdown in these areas:

• You have very little personal, one on one time together
• You have no regular intimate communication
• You don’t meet each other’s physical, emotional and spiritual needs

If anyone or anything is more important than your husband, your marriage will not be deeply intimate and passionate. Your relationship will progress from good, pretty good, so so and then to not so good. Finally, the love will die and your marriage will die. Many marriages end in divorce as a result.

So what is the solution to the fatal effects of the six marriage killers and passion robbers? Make your husband your number one priority.

The Wife Coach