Nine times out of ten when our back are against the wall we tend to lie. It is human nature. We see it at a very young age. The small child who has eaten a cookie and when we as them did they eat a cookie they shake their head no. All the while cookie crumbs are all over their mouth.
Most people consider themselves to fairly honest and by society’s standards we are. But is that really saying much. What society considers honest and what is really true and honest are two separate things. Our culture makes lying the norm. We do it so often we don’t even notice it anymore. We live in a culture that tells us to tell the truth ONLY if it doesn’t make anyone uncomfortable, doesn’t cause conflict, and makes you looks good.
Honesty can make or break a relationship. When you know you can totally trust your mate, it strengthens your love. When you know you can totally trust your mate, it removes a large potential for worry. Honesty provides security in the relationship.
Dishonesty is a harmful habit that can erode the trust between you and the person you love. Honesty is to be taken seriously in a marriage and for many is a non-negotiable. Even in the little things, it will undermine your marriage. If you tell a seemingly harmless lie the first time you may feel guilty. But the more you keep telling these harmless lies eventually it will become easier and you will feel no guilt. You will then graduate to bigger more harmful lies. Then you will have to start lying to cover your tracks and it is just a huge snowball effect.
Not mention dishonesty destroys trust in your marriage. When you lie your spouse will have hard time believing you even when you are telling the truth. Becomes harder to trust you in all things that they value and it causes lingering tension and uneasiness in the relationship.
Trust, openness, honesty and transparency are absolutely essential for a woman in order to produce the level of emotional intimacy that will meet the needs of her soul. Nothing should be hidden within a marriage relationship, even the secrets of insecurity should be able to be entrusted to each other in order to foster a deep abiding bond of satisfying connection. Your spouse should know you better than anyone else. The reality, based on a survey done in the USA, men tend to be the big secret keepers in relationships. Whereas a woman tends to want to share everything in a relationship, based on her deep need for security, men tend to keep secrets about everything from finances, feelings, his male relationships, spirituality, sexuality, and his relationships with women. All of which, if kept hidden and become found out by the woman he is with, will begin to tear apart at the seams the level of trust she has in the relationship, which then causes her to question the level of her safety in the relationship. On the other hand, honesty meets such an emotional need for a woman that women tend to fall deeper in love with a person who’s radically honest with them.
Ladies two important points:
1.Honesty is a sign that he is ready to grow with you and cultivate committed healthy relationship.If he is still playing games and lying, He is not ready for a serious relationship.
2. The Golden Rule: Honesty is the best policy for everyone involved.
The Wife Coach
